Dear Austin: God is Love

Dear Austin,

It’s been 6 months today.

This morning we attended Mass with one of your brothers at Immaculate Conception, where you were baptized. 

Father Kevin, who baptized you, said the best explanation of the mystery of the Trinity is love. God is Love. 

In drawing an analogy in support of God is Love, he mentioned losing someone important to you. 

As soon as he said that, my mind wandered, and all I could think about was you. 

You are love. You are loved. You are now with Love. 

A mystery.

——————

Last week we attended Mass with both Austin’s brothers at Christ the King where Austin attended his oldest brother’s wedding last June.

During communion, an older gentleman using a walker started down a side aisle, realized they weren’t serving this week down that aisle, and turned around to reroute which would be a much longer distance. 

Father Kirby, somehow noticing the man, paused the line where he was serving, squeezed past people creating a bit of commotion, and practically ran after the man down the other aisle, called his name, and served him the sacrament. 

And I cried.

Did you see it, too? That picture of Jesus leaving the ninety-nine for the one? That picture of someone going out of their way to meet someone where they are? That picture of every person who ever went out of their way to help Austin? 

God is Love.

—————-

This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend. We invited all our local immediate family to the cabin. Austin’s middle brother, girlfriend, and an uncle and family showed up. None of them knew it’s been 6 months today. 

Austin’s cousin Theo wanted to climb up into Austin’s day bed that is still in the living room. I overheard him ask his mom, and I called out it’s ok.

“Is this Austin’s bed? Where’s Austin?”

My throat tightened.

Oh little one, I too, think often, “Austin, where are you?!”