Beginning around the first of October, I began to notice that I felt very calm about things. I wasn't as emotional and it all felt very peaceful. I don't seem to feel the need to blog when nothing is churning in my mind.
But now all the old feelings seem to be creeping back up on me. I'm so overwhelmed with information and tasks to do for the baby. I come across new things constantly on the special needs forums of things to try that work for others. I have advice and suggestions given to me by therapists and friends.
How can I possibly learn about and try every little thing that others suggest? How do I pick through them? Do I try everything? Do I try a few but risk missing something? How do I know what supplements to try and how do i get them all into him as well as what little food I'm getting in? How do I know what therapies are working? How do I know when to throw caution to the wind and spend the money to get alternative therapy that sounds promising? How do I weight that with my other kid's needs? How do I fill out all the forms for potential reimbursement?
I just want to give up! It's just too much! And now all I want to do is cry. I keep feeling like I'm living some else's life or one day I'll wake up and find it was a bad dream...
